Going Too Fast


You want to know something funny? Just 3 years ago I couldn’t wait to be a teenager, get through high school and go to college for… what did I want to be back then...oh that’s right. I wanted to become a criminal profiler. Now I’m here thinking it’s all too fast, there’s so much to do before I graduate and I’m not even sure on where I want to take my life and am overwhelmed with the thought of taxes and insurance and what on earth am I supposed to do when a bug enters my first house or apartment (for those of you who don’t know me, yes, I am one of those people who will consider moving if they see a spider. You may call it overreacting but I call it being safe).

 My point is the outside world is scary, and from the first day you enter high school it’s all forced on you. What college are you thinking of going to, what major do you want, or do you want to join the army. And you got to decide fast because there so any things to think about like ap classes and what scholarships are you going to apply for. All this pressure put on a fourteen year old who still doesn’t quite know themselves yet.

 Just last semester, I flunked algebra 2. A few weeks before, I figured I was going to flunk, I had an F then and I knew the odds of passing at that point were slim. I found myself crying in a gazebo in a park a few blocks from my house, and I looked over and I could see a mom with her kids, and the oldest couldn’t have been more than 8 years old. I wanted so much to go up to them and tell them not to wish there child years away because there was gonna be a day where the world would strip all of that child like happiness away, and leave you wanting to be in preschool with naps, snacks and show and tell. To be honest I wasn’t crying because I flunked math, I was buckling under the pressure of what that F might do to my future. How one letter could have such an impact on life. It didn’t seem fair.

 The world is a hard place to find your purpose in, let alone finding a way to get there. Recently, however, I have rediscovered my passion and that fire inside me, and I’m trying to build it up so I can start again in a new light. I’ve not come up with a definite path yet but I know it’s going to involve theater, writing and maybe even owning a coffee shop someday. I know I want to take online school for college. As for what I want my degree to be in and where I want to live is something I’m still shaky on. I still have two more years though to figure that out. Meanwhile, I have told myself that I’m going to fill the last two years before graduation with as many memories as possible, and for any other high school students reading this, I suggest you do the same, before we get called out into the world. You only get the first eighteen years of your life once, don’t waste it.

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